How to travel with kids and not lose your mind
*This is an updated version of a previous post, because I have learnt yet more travel tips after taking six flights in six weeks with an 18-month-old. The number one tip being: don’t do that.*
It’s 8.30pm and the baby is furious.
He’s writhing around in my arms, screaming at top volume, as I try to calm him down despite a missed nap, bright lights and the seatbelt buckle currently digging into his side. It’s boiling hot on our Ryanair plane, and to make matters worse, we’ve run out of snacks for the 4 year old, so she starts screaming too. I turn to my husband and say, with great conviction, that we are never, ever doing this again. Don’t even get me started on my reaction when we finally arrive at Stansted, only to join a passport control queue that is roughly two miles long.
Travelling with kids can be dreadful. But despite my dramatic vow to avoid it forever, I know I’ll get itchy feet soon. I’m very lucky in that my job means traveling fairly frequently, leading my daughter to have high standards for “hotails” and be completely appalled to discover, for example, that there was no swimming pool when we checked in to a Travelodge recently. “Dat was a boring hotail mummy”.
With my kids rapidly totting up passport stamps, I’ve learnt the hard way all the dos and don’ts of travelling with little ones. So I’m going to share that intel with you, whether you have kids, are planning to have them, or simply want to confirm you made the right decision remaining child-free…
Reassess your holiday priorities
Did your pre-kid holidays involve days packed with city sightseeing followed by dinner and cocktails on the town? Perhaps heading to a hippy destination for beachside yoga and temple-hopping? Or maybe just relaxing by the pool at a boutique hotel, bellini in one hand, book in the other? Well ha! Not any more. Now the main priority for the holiday is making sure the kids are happy so they won’t behave like complete d***heads. That doesn’t mean you can’t do anything you enjoy, but some re-balancing will be needed. In my experience, the best option is to book a hotel or villa with a pool and food options on-site, but with enough cultural sights and activities nearby to stop you going stir crazy. If you’re going with another adult, make sure you give each other time off to go and do things you enjoy – for my husband that’s visiting the hotel gym, for me it’s going to the bar for a cold glass of white wine ON MY OWN.
Don’t go anywhere boiling
Just a nightmare with small kids. Shoulder season is the time to travel (those little nutters don’t care if the pool is freezing).
Get on the plane last
Airlines try to be nice by letting those with small children board the plane first. However if you have a toddler, what this actually means is spending 30-40 minutes longer than you need to trying to control them while sitting on a plane. For the past few flights we’ve been on, my husband has boarded first with my five-year-old daughter and all our hand luggage (including the fold-up buggy), while I run laps around the the gate area with the toddler. Then I scoop him up last minute and join the end of the check-in line, so we’re the final people to board. This means a) he is much more tired by the time we get on and b) we spend less time wrangling him on the plane.
Don’t let the airport staff put your buggy in hold
I realise this is not always possible, but if you have a lightweight fold-down buggy like the Yoyo, try to fold it up before you get to the actual boarding gate and then don’t let airport staff siphon it off to the hold. I’ve had way too many experiences of arriving at my destination only to be waiting ages for the buggies to come out - often last, and sometimes a bit battered. Occasionally they try and bung a label your buggy as you are walking through the boarding gate, which means it’s meant to go in the hold. Have I been known to rip these labels off again when no one is looking? Hmm….
Book a hotel with a shallow toddler pool
…because then you don’t have to freeze your bits off going in too, you can just strap on some arm bands and watch them from the sun lounger at the side.
Get your transport planned and booked
In my pre-baby life, my husband and I would often wait until we landed at the airport before working out how to get to the hotel, which was fine because I didn’t have anyone hanging off my arm asking for a wee or some toast. Nowadays, a military planning regime must take place before we arrive, with transfers or taxis pre-booked for minimal fuss at the airport. If the public transport for getting around your destination isn’t brilliant, I recommend hiring a car. Even though I hate the general faff of picking the hire car up, it’s much better than relying on some shonky local bus service. Don’t forget to request car seats (specifying age) and always take photos of the hire car at the start so you can’t be accused of causing a scratch or bump that was already there.
Don’t go for the 6am flight
Yes it’s £150 cheaper, no it is not worth it if it means getting toddlers to the airport at 4am.
Be judicious in your choice of toys
Have you ever got your head stuck in the footwell of a Ryanair seat trying to find a missing piece of Lego? I don’t recommend it. Toys that have worked well for us on flights and holidays in general are: colouring books with these pens that have lids attached, spinner toys (they stick to the plane windows better than backs of seats, especially if you wet the sucky bit), this crocodile dentist toy (which they love playing with any mates on holiday) and this wooden switchboard thing, which is also weirdly soothing to play with as a 30-something parent. I find with slightly older kids (probably 4+) that packing an actual game - like snap or the shopping list game - can be very helpful to fill the time when you’re waiting in restaurants for food. I saw a mum in the playground recently with collapsible buckets, which would be very handy if you’re heading on a beach holiday via plane (who has space to pack proper buckets?!). A big, inflatable ball is always a crowd-pleaser too.
Never leave food to chance
The number one rule with kids and snacks is a) picture how many snacks you think is a reasonable amount for one child to have and then b) double it. Perhaps even triple for a flight. Flying with young kids can be truly hellish and falls into the category of times when it is totally fine to shut them up with snacks and screens. Don’t rely on the food on board the plane – you need to do a supermarket shop or ruinous-but-worth-it Pret sweep at the airport beforehand. Equally, when you arrive at your destination you need to have a plan re. food – there is nothing more likely to lead to spousal murder than schlepping along a Spanish street at 6pm, desperately looking for somewhere serving dinner while your children wail with hunger. Which leads me on to…
Lunch, glorious lunch!
Dinner is often a damp squib during holidays with young kids. You either leave them in the hotel room with a baby monitor (unfortunately I’m far too neurotic for this) or you take them with you and basically need to finish eating at 7pm. This is fine if you’re staying in the kind of child-centric hotel where dinner starts at half five, but you can forget it when dining out in the Med. Lunch, therefore, is the time to go wild. In a fantasy world, you can rock up somewhere for lunch and your child will spend the entire time napping in their buggy. This has occasionally happened to me, and it is marvellous. But even if they’re awake, they’ll be much less ratty at 1pm than 7pm. Research child-friendly restaurants beforehand (this is one instance in which I find Tripadvisor quite handy) and fill your boots at lunchtime, making it less disheartening when dinner ends up being room service chips or a Spanish supermarket buffet (which I secretly quite like).
Portable blackout blinds
Essential. We have this one.
Do your download admin
Every parent has their own rules when it comes to screentime. We don’t let my daughter have a tablet in cafés or restaurants, but in the car or on the plane, I think they’re brill. I also have no problem with her having a little wind down in the hotel room watching TV. In fact, this extremely robust kids’ tablet is pretty much a life-saver when late afternoon comes round and she’s gone completely bananas from the mixture of heat and excitement. Plane and airport wifi is crap, so our pre-holiday admin always involves downloading some of her favourite TV shows, as well as a few things for the grown-ups to watch after the kids’ bedtime, because we sadly won’t be hitting up the cocktail bars at 9pm. Sigh.
Explain the daily schedule to your kid
One thing I’ve noticed is that my daughter can get very riled up from being out of her normal routine. Although I may enjoy spontaneity on holiday, not knowing what is going to happen next can make little kids go a bit wild. So I found this useful tip on Mumsnet: draw a visual list of what you are going to do every day, and show it to your child. In Lisbon, I literally drew a shower, then a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a picture of a fish for the aquarium and so on. It sounds a bit mad but my daughter was so much better behaved as a result, and kept consulting the ‘map’ to tell use what was coming next, instead of flipping out about each and every move.
Methodical packing is the only way
I’m a packing cube addict. Truly, I simply will not stop wanging on about them. They are very useful for family holidays, particularly as we all tend to share one check-in bag (we’re not millionaires, after all). Inside the case, everyone gets an individual packing cube with all their clothes, which makes life much easier when we arrive at the hotel. I also rely heavily on packing lists, which I make in the notes section of my phone so I can refer back to them on future holidays. Oh and don’t forget Calpol, whatever you do.
To sterilise in a hotel room
You need a big Tupperware box that fits all the bottles and dummies inside - something like this. Along with the bottles, pack Milton tablets, a small tube of washing up liquid and a brush (I’ve actually just found this online, which looks ideal). You can wash up bottles in the hotel sink, then sterilise with water and a Milton tablet in the tupperware for 15 minutes. Job’s a good’un.
Perfect your croissant-stealing moves
A classic child move is to eat half a yogurt at the free breakfast buffet and then spend all morning complaining they’re hungry. My completely shameless recommendation is to take a tote bag with Tupperware down to breakfast and stow away some pastries, because they keep well out of the fridge and are universally adored by small people.
Kids’ club, kids’ club, kids’ club
Because I am an evil mother whose child has been in full-time childcare since she was one, I had some qualms about putting her into kids’ club on holiday. Surely we should be spending every minute of the day together to make up for all that nursery? That was until I discovered she actively wanted to go; she flipping loves it. And for me it means a few hours not being asked to play hide and seek or draw rainbow unicorns, which is dreamy. Do not feel bad about making use of childcare on holiday - if you’re anything like me, you’ll be a much better parent for having a break.
Use ice cream as a bribe for everything
On holiday, my daughter’s one daily ice cream is used as a bribe for pretty much everything that happens beforehand. ‘If you get dressed nicely, you can have an ice cream later’. ‘If you get out of the pool without screaming, you can have an ice cream later’. ‘There won’t be any ice cream later if you keep using the baby’s head to wipe your hands’ etc. Parenting awards in the post, please.
Got any travelling with kids tips to share? Please let me know below!
Your tips are brilliant! I also say don’t take too many toys, just a couple of small high use ones as well as a book or two? I love the etch a sketch or drawing pad as it’s got many uses!