What could you get for £1,860 a month? In my leafy area of zone 3, it would cover the rent for a one-bedroom flat. Or a return flight to Sydney plus a return flight to New York. You could buy yourself a new Apple Macbook Pro, or a fancy Sage bean to cup coffee machine, or a nice new two-seater sofa from Loaf every single month. Alternatively, if you have a child under five, then you will probably find yourself forking out around this much - equivalent to a second mortgage - in nursery fees every month. That is if both parents are working full time, which is probably the case if you need to pay the first mortgage.
I’ve written before about why I think millennials need to stop moaning about everything to do with modern parenting, but when it comes to the extortionate price of childcare I’d say there is a legitimate grievance. The Early Years Alliance says nursery fees increased by 80% between 2010 and 2024. At £1,860 a month, my nursery is genuinely considered quite a bargain in south London - I know plenty of people paying over £2,000 a month, with wince-inducing fee rises of up to 10% announced annually, if not twice a year.
It was extremely cheering when, during my pregnancy with my second child in 2023, the government announced it would gradually be extending its ‘free’ childcare hours down to 9-month-olds (this was previously only offered to over-threes). The final roll out will take place in September this year, and with my son now in nursery full-time (around 50 hours a week) those 30 funded hours should make a massive dent (60%?) in the cost when they kick in this autumn, right?
Well, sort of. This week I got the details of our fees for next term and the monthly figure will be…drum roll… £1,256.
Before you think I’m embarking on another whinge-athon, I obviously think saving £600 a month is great. I’m thrilled that by luck of timing I will benefit from this particular government scheme (much like the ‘Pret £10 a month for unlimited coffee offer’ spanning my entire second maternity leave - excellent timing!).
At the same time, £1,256 is still, how shall I put this nicely… fuckloads. Enough for monthly rental of a studio flat, for example, or two nights in a superior queen room at The Ritz, or the best iPhone 16 money can buy.
Obviously the care of my beloved child is more important to me than all those things, and hardly an area where I want to quibble about costs. I understand why the nursery needs to charge this much - they’ve got rising bills, staff wages and all the rest to pay for, and no parent wants to see standards slashed. If I was given the choice of massively relaxing staff-to-child ratios, feeding the toddlers Smash and not bothering with any activities all day, or paying the higher fees, I’d choose to protect the calibre of care. But the fact remains that in other European countries they manage to have very good quality creches and nurseries at a mere fraction of the price we pay in the UK. We have the third most expensive childcare system in the world.
I’m one of the lucky ones who can afford it (if I literally empty my bank account every month). But I think it’s important for people who are not currently paying for childcare to understand the actual numbers we’re talking about, and that we’re not just being moany entitled millennials. When you hear ‘30 hours free childcare’ it sounds like the system has been fixed; but the funding is term-time only (38 weeks of the year), which then needs to be stretched over the 52 weeks a year that nurseries are actually open. The hourly funding is also - surprise, surprise - not actually enough to cover the nursery’s expenses for feeding and entertaining the kids, so an extra daily fee is charged on top.
I can hear that other common refrain echoing in my ears: Well, don’t have kids if you can’t afford to look after them.
On some levels, I do understand this argument. But the issue is that lots of people are making the sensible decision not to have kids because they can’t afford them, and that’s going to cause a massive issue for all of us.
As for those of us who have had kids in the last five or so years, few could have predicted the ways nursery costs have spiralled on top of the general cost of living.
Plus, on a purely economic level it pays to fund childcare. The Confederation of British Industry estimates that full childcare provision could bring 60,000 mothers back into the workforce, contributing to a £1.7 billion uplift in GDP. So even if you hate whingy working mums, there is a good financial argument for throwing them a bone.
The reassurance I always give new parents who are panicking about childcare costs is that at least it’s temporary. You will save absolutely nothing and pay your mortgage by the skin of your teeth for three or four years, and then you’re done. I don’t mention the fact that once your child starts school you may find yourself paying over £4,000 a year for wraparound care, or up to £70 a day for holiday camps because kids get 13 weeks off a year, whereas most working parents get five. I was recently speaking to a school mum who is taking her kids back to her home country of France for the summer break, because she said the camps there cost £7 a day, and they do loads of amazing activities like sailing, climbing and kayaking. Another friend in Sweden once told me that childcare fees there are capped at 3% of gross income (2% for your second child).
In this country we just don’t seem to like funding care. It’s a problem that’s even more acute at the other end of life. When my grandparents were in nursing homes the weekly fees were quite astonishing. There’s definitely been a step forward on childcare funding, but the fact remains that with one child in school and one in nursery, my husband and I are still spending over £20,000 a year on care. By the time my little one finishes nursery, the full cost for both will have been at least £100,000. If we’re ever going to tackle a decreasing population, this might be a good place to start.
Great post, so true! I know several middle class families - pretty well off by most people’s standards - who are not able to afford baby number two, which seems crazy. You might find this podcast interesting where Amol Rahman discusses the issue of how we can be better at supporting families in the UK. Not sure I agree with all of it but raises some very interesting points! https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/radical-with-amol-rajan/id1708808280?i=1000717626182
The cost of childcare is mind boggling - it's so expensive but then the staff get paid so little too. And like you say the government help doesn't make that much of a dent in the total amount. When my eldest was 3 there was a government discount and it maybe saved £100 a month if that by the time it all worked out. I worked part time with my eldest two kids and my whole salary went on childcare. By the time my 3rd came along,I realised I'd be paying to go to work so I became a SAHM. We can manage on my husbands salary but we live pretty frugally but I'm OK with that. I plan to go back to work when my youngest starts reception in Sept 2026 but then I worry about the cost of holiday childcare and after school clubs.